is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
