i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
