There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
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he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
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She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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