I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
