She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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