After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize