Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
