After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
