rhymes with "ouble enetration"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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