You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
