Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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