She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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