Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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