That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
