things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
