Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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