Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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