loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
