In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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