smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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