Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
