no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
