It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
