Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
ugly people sure do ruin things
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
