i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
