even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
