can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize