our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
