On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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