You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
