yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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