Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize