you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize