i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
