Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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