As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
