tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My dick has a subreddit
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize