I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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