I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
