me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
