Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
