Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
