I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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