It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He felt like a one man threesome
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
