$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i just google imaged poop.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
