I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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