and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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