i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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