Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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