i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
