I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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