i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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