Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
