none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
