i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
