The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I have tasted many bathrooms
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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