wakey wakey hands off snakey
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
