break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
